When life gets hard, many of us have the same instinct: pull back. We tell ourselves we don’t want to burden anyone. We convince ourselves we should be able to handle it. We stay busy, distract ourselves, or wait until things feel more manageable before reaching out. On the surface, this makes sense. When we are overwhelmed, protecting ourselves by withdrawing can feel safer than risking vulnerability.

The problem is that humans are not built to do life alone.

One of the ideas that has stood out to me while reading Dr. Gabor Maté’s book The Myth of Normal is that many of our struggles do not happen in isolation. Our stress, burnout, anxiety, and emotional pain are often connected to the environments we live in and the relationships around us. Yet many of us have been taught that healing is something we should do independently.

In reality, connection is not a luxury. It is a need.

From the moment we are born, our brains and nervous systems develop through relationships. We learn what safety feels like through connection with others. We learn how to regulate emotions, ask for help, and recover from difficult experiences through relationships. This need for connection does not disappear as we get older. Research consistently shows that supportive relationships are one of the strongest predictors of well-being. People who feel connected to others tend to cope better with stress, recover more effectively from adversity, and report greater overall life satisfaction.

When people hear the word “connection,” they often imagine having a large group of friends or an active social life. But a meaningful connection is often much simpler than that. It can look like a neighbour who stops to chat while you’re walking the dog. A friend who checks in after a difficult week. A community event where you see familiar faces. A volunteer opportunity. A conversation that leaves you feeling understood. These moments may seem small, but they remind us of something important: we belong.

This is one of the reasons community matters so much. Communities create opportunities for people to connect, support one another, and remember that they are not carrying life’s challenges alone. If you have been struggling lately, consider one small act of connection this week. Send a text. Attend a community event. Introduce yourself to a neighbour. Reach out to someone you trust. You do not need to have the perfect words. You do not need to have everything figured out. Sometimes healing begins not by fixing ourselves, but by allowing ourselves to be connected to others.

If you are interested in the idea of being more connected but feel like there are blocks in doing this in your life, Inward Bound Psychology has a strong and diverse team of therapists that could support you in creating more connections in your life, please reach out at info@inwardbound.ca or 403-828-1246

Written by Dailyn Kernaghan, Registered Psychologist at Inward Bound Psychology